Uncomprehendable DISCONTINUED UP FOR ADOPTION
by Netsunii
Summary: Hazel Willows, a 12 year old, is transported into her favorite cartoon, Gravity Falls. Watch as she takes part in the Pines family's shenanigans, all while trying to keep her mouth shut and finding a way home. [UP FOR ADOPTION]
1. Prologue

_**Prologue**_

I sighed as I slumped into my chair. A few bruises from the bullies at my school, nothing too important. At least school was over.

I opened up my backpack and reached in to do my homework.

Oh, wait, I haven't introduced myself yet.

My name is Hazel Willows. I'm 12 years old, and i'm a victim of bullying. Lots and lots of it. It's not my fault that I was born so short!

Uh, sorry, getting off track here. Anyways…

I'm a fair-skinned girl, and I have dark brown hair along with green eyes. My hair is long-ish, ending mid-back. I own black horn-rimmed glasses. I'm pretty thin but nowhere near starvation or malnourishment.

Right now, I was currently wearing a black and white striped shirt with short sleeves, denim shorts, black stockings that reached my thighs and brown laced-up boots. My hair was in a simple high-ish bun with two loose strands at the sides of my face.

Okay, now that you know who I am, let's continue, shall we?

I was busy doing my homework when I decided to listen to music. I went onto Youtube and searched up a music box of Gravity Falls' theme song.

(Even though I knew this would stab me in the heart with sad nostalgia - The show ended 2 years ago.)

I pulled up a song by this weird channel called _fallingravity_ , whatever the hell that was. The music box cover was good though, so I didn't pay attention to it. I forgot how short the theme actually was and pulled up some other music as well, such as Gasoline by Halsey, Empty by Boyinaband and JaidenAnimations, et cetera.

I finished up my homework and put it away before lying in bed, sighing and being a miserable shit about life.

I took my _delicious_ antidepressants and anxiety pills, before forcing them down with a cup of water. Cold water, which made everything seem gloomier.

I opened up my laptop and got searching for Gravity Falls fanfiction, because why the fuck not? A few minutes in, and I accidentally clicked on an ad. I sighed in annoyance and immediately went to click away, but when the tab closed, it reopened.

It just reopened.

"The fuck?" I muttered, clicking the small X. It went on for a few minutes: just a loop of me clicking the X, the tab closing, before popping back in place.

I closed the whole window and double-clicked Chrome, hoping that it would work.

But nothing. The tab was still there.

At this point I just gave up and chose to ignore it, even though I wasn't aware if it was a shitty creepypasta prank or whatever.

I clicked on a fanfiction that took my interest and immediately, my screen brightened.

Too bright.

The room was engulfed in light as I screamed, covering my eyes from the blinding light. Before I knew it, I was unconscious.


	2. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

" _Ah, summer break."_

" _A time for leisure, recreation, and taking 'er easy."_

 _The Gravity Falls sign._

" _Unless you're me."_

 _A pair of twins and a girl in a golf cart crash through the sign, breaking it. They're screaming. An unknown monster is chasing them. One of the twins, a girl, turns around and screams more._

" _It's getting closer!"_

 _The monster manages to almost catch the cart. The cart flies off a rock and crashes roughly._

" _My name is Dipper. The girl about to puke is my twin sister, Mabel. The girl screaming and holding onto her seat for dear life is our friend, Hazel. You may be wondering what we're doing in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror."_

 _The monster throws a tree on the path of the cart. The twin sister yells at her twin brother who was driving._

" _Look out!"_

 _As they are about to drive into the tree, they freeze in front of the camera, their screaming faces silenced._

" _Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation._

My eyes snapped open. I shot upwards, breathing heavily. What…

What the _heck_ was that?

I had no idea that that would, well, _happen._ I sighed and looked around for any signs of a group of bullies with a baseball bat and a weird nerd kid who's into technology and shit.

Except, I wasn't in my room. I was in a bedroom, but it looked nowhere similar to mine. It was pretty spacious, with a large bed against one of the walls. The pillows looked fluffy and the duvet was a royal red, with gold-colored trim at the edges. When I lifted up the duvet, I spotted red sheets underneath.

There were two white, wooden cabinets on each side of the bed. One had a pretty lamp sculpted into a willow tree with the lights inside the "leaves" and a switch on top of the bark.

The other cabinet had a journal on top of it, and of course it was a royal red color with gold trim and a white circle on the center of the front, with a pretty thorned rose printed on the circle.

The other side of the room had a big window, with a window seat stretching across the window's length. A fluffy red fabric of sorts covered the top of the window seat, and black and white cushion pillows were fitted neatly in the corners. The window was openable, and offered a view of what seemed like the forest.

There was a nice, white wooden closet in front of the north wall. Upon opening it, I saw that it was filled with clothing, all of the clothing back at home. There was a lower drawer that had my shoes.

A few white wooden shelves were placed next to the closet, and a white wooden desk with cabinets was in front of the wall with the door, pushed to the right. A white swivel chair was in front of it.

The desk was cluttered, with my laptop on top of it, a few notebooks, a pencil case, a simple lamp decorated with stars and some pages with sketches on them. The desk also had two sockets underneath it. Must be for charging my laptop.

A trash bin was next to the desk, which looked as if it hadn't been used yet.

A...chest? was on the other side of the wall, which looked to be past full, as the lid was slightly open.

There were a few paintings, which I recognized to be mine. I painted as a hobby, and I got really good at it over the years, although I have trouble with realism so I do abstract and cartoon paintings.

The clay walls were a nice light cream, and the shaggy carpet floor was a black color.

Overall, the bedroom was pretty normal, and it didn't look too expensive nor fancy, except for the willow lamp.

And the carpet floor.

And the window seat.

Uh, how the hell did we afford this?

' _What...is all this? Huh?'_ I turned to the bedroom door and opened it, before peeking outside. Across the hallway, I saw...my dad?

"Maybe he'll know what happened."

I closed the door and walked over to the journal. I picked it up and began reading, starting from the beginning.

" _March 18, 2012..._ Wait, 2012? I thought it was 2018?" I mumbled. Alarmed by the sudden reverse in years and wanting to know why, I carried on reading.

" _Today's my 12th birthday! We're moving to Gravity Falls-_ Wait, WHAT?!" I yelled, before covering my mouth. A few seconds after, the muffled voice of my dad came through.

"Hazel, sweetie, everything okay in there?"

I bit my cheek. "Um, yes, Dad! Nothing wrong! Just saw a _really_ weird video online, you know? Yeah, nothing much!"

I heard him hum in response. Sighing, I read through the small paragraph again.

Wow. I was in a cartoon. And not just _any_ cartoon, but Gravity _freaking_ Falls! How cool is that?!

Wait, now that I think about it, isn't my house a bit too, well, modern for Gravity Falls?

...Meh, it's fine. I prefer it this way anyways.

I continued reading, more curious than before.

" _I can't wait to see my dad's friend! He said that he might call me kiddo or kid at first, but that's okay!_

 _I do admit that I will miss all of my friends though, and it'll be upsetting without them. But it's fine!"_

I continued reading even more, engaged in "my" entries. Apparently I work at the Mystery Shack, and i'm friends with Wendy Corduroy and Soos. Stan was also treating me like his kid and babysat me when my dad was too busy to. He actually babysat me on his own for a while, before and after any of the portal stuff happened. It was nice to know my relationship with these people.

My mom also "died" (I say this with quotation marks because she isn't really my mom, just another version of her) when I was a baby.

I worked as a "stockperson" and I restocked the shelves, and sometimes I sweeped up front. Pretty basic, but it was a good start for a job. Even though I didn't get to receive my salary, my dad collected it for me.

Which was absolute BULLSHIT.

Anyways, the last entry was yesterday, which was June 14, 2012.

Wait, June 14, 2012?!

That was the day before...EPISODE 1!

If i'm not hallucinating, today was June 15, 2012! Which was the official airing date for Tourist Trapped, and that meant that I could be a part of the _episode_!

"Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh _flipping man!_ This is nuts! I can't believe it! Aah!"

I calmed myself down before remembering that I worked for Stan. Which meant that I had to go to work.

Which meant that I was possibly LATE!

"Ah, crud!" I noticed that I was wearing the same outfit I wore before being transported here, and it seemed that I just put it on. I quickly made my hair into a braid. I grabbed my house keys and a satchel, putting my journal and pencil case inside, along with my sketchbook.

I ran out of my room and grabbed a few breakfast bars as well as a chocolate bar from the pantry before dumping them into my satchel, except for a breakfast bar which I tore open and bit into. With a full mouth, my "Bye, dad!" became muffled. I dashed out of the house and to the Mystery Shack.

...Well, I thought I was, until my dad pulled me back.

"Whoa, sweetheart, where are you going?"

I looked at him in disbelief. "Uh, the Mystery Shack? Duh?" He sighed.

"Sweetie, the shack doesn't open for at least an hour."

I blinked.

"Oh."

* * *

So apparently the Shack opened at 10 in the morning, which was...eh. Anyways, I got there a few minutes after it opened. I walked in the doors and was immediately greeted by Soos and Wendy.

"Sup, dudes?" I waved lazily at them, to which they responded with a, "Sup." and a "Hi dude."

I climbed on the counter and sat on it, before deciding to play it cool. "Damn Wendy, never seen you here early before. What's the occasion?" Wendy smiled at me, though I could tell a small part of it was forced.

"Stan was talking about how his niece and nephew were coming over to live for the summer and whatever. I wanted to meet them."

I frowned. She was lying, of course. Her brothers and dad were stressful to deal with, as I recalled from the episode.

Nevertheless, I sighed and shook my head. "Alright then." I muttered, before taking out my sketchbook and a pencil. I opened to a clean page and started to draw something random.

After a while, the doors opened, making me startled. I snapped out of the bubble that I was in and looked down at what I drew. My blood ran cold at the drawing.

It was Bill Cipher.

Without hesitation, I tore the page out of the book and crumpled it up. I then threw it in the bin. Wendy stared at me in confusion.

"...What was that about?" I shook my head. "Not a good drawing."

She didn't question it.

Stan walked in with a familiar pair of twins following him. _'Ah,'_ I thought. _'Here we go.'_

"Welcome to the Mystery Shack! You'll be staying here for the summer." Stan said to the twins, Dipper and Mabel. They looked around, one impressed and the other not-so impressed.

"That's Wendy."

"Sup."

"Soos."

"What's up, dude and girl dude?"

"And that's Hazel."

I lifted my hand and tilted it to the left before dropping it, making a weak wave. "Hi."

"Anyways, Hazel, since you're the less busiest, show them upstairs, to their room."

I sighed but packed up my stuff and placed it inside my satchel. I slid off of the counter and motioned for them to follow me, before going up the stairs, the twins following.

I walked up to their room and opened the door before stepping aside so they could enter. As soon as they went inside I leaned against the doorframe with my arms crossed.

On the outside I was trying to play it cool, but I was failing. I mean, seriously, these are _the_ Mystery Twins! Tell me how _you_ ' _d_ handle the situation, huh?

I cleared my throat. "Welp, time to go." I began walking back when I heard frantic steps and felt a hand grab my arm. It dragged me back to the room. I realized that it was Mabel.

"Why are you leaving, um." She frantically tried to remember my name. I chuckled. "Hazel." She snapped her fingers. "Yeah! Hazel, why are you leaving?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, because I literally have to get back to work? Like, right now?"

"Come on! You can get to know us better. I'm Mabel and my nerdy brother over there is Dippingsauce!"

Dipper cleared his throat. "Uh, ahem, I am right here. Anyways, sorry about Mabel. I'm Dipper Pines. We're twins." I waved it off. "No problem. Since Mabel here doesn't want me to leave, I guess i'll just...yeah." I plopped down onto the floor and watched as they unpacked everything.

' _Aaand here's Mabel's line!'_

Mabel began hanging up her posters. When she finished, she turned around. "This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters!" She exclaimed, holding up her hands. As she said, there were a few splinters on them. Wincing, I grabbed tweezers from...out of nowhere? and pulled the splinters out.

"Aaaaand there's a goat on my bed." I turned around to see Dipper stare at the goat, Gompers. I laughed and took out my chocolate bar, before splitting it in three. I gave one to Gompers, Mabel and Dipper. They all echoed a word of thanks.

Mabel trotted over to Gompers. "Hey, friend!" She said, holding out arm for a handshake. Instead, Gompers chewed on her sweater sleeve. Mabel seemed surprised for a second, but said, "Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater. Haha!"

I smiled slightly before noticing that the twins were done packing. "So, wanna go outside?" They shrugged. "I guess." "Sure, why not?"

We went outside and I sat down at the bottom of a small green hill. I took out my sketchbook and pencil before starting to draw a gnome. Dipper was standing awkwardly, holding a notebook and pen.

A few minutes after, Mabel came rolling down the hill while saying, "Yay! Grass!"

I chuckled and turned to my drawing, which was pretty much still the sketch. I took a break and packed away everything, before tearing open a breakfast bar wrapper and biting into the long cube oats.

I saw Grunkle Stan sneaking up on Dipper and silently snickered.

" _ **BOO!**_ "

" _AAH!"_

Dipper fell over as Stan took off the mask and guffawed, slapping his knee. I couldn't hold it in anymore and burst into laughter, followed by Mabel.

"Alright, I guess we should get inside." I stood up and led everyone into the Shack.

I paused as I heard Stan cough multiple times and hit his chest, trying to rid him of the coughing. "It was worth it." He muttered, following us, before chuckling softly.

I began to restock when I saw Stan lead his tourists through the tourist trap. I snickered when I heard him say, "Behold! The Sascrotch!" followed by the "Ooh"s and "Aah"s of the tourists, and camera snapping.

I turned around when I finished, only to see Mabel gasping in wonder at a fake, giant eyeball. She was about to touch it when a familiar black 8-ball cane hit her hand. She drew it back with a sad look on her face. The familiar gruff voice of Stan cut through the air as I frowned. I never liked that scene.

"No touching the merchandise!"

* * *

A few days later, I was sweeping up front when I saw Mabel peeking through some "Mr Mystery" bobbleheads. A smile found it's way on my face as I walked over before sweeping some more, eavesdropping even though I knew what she was gonna say. Mabel squealed and I followed her vision.

"He's looking at it! _He's looking at it!"_

The poor boy picked up the paper ball and uncrumpled it. He read it aloud. "Uh, do you like me? Yes? Definitely? Absolutely?" He looked around in confusion as I heard Mabel whisper excitedly, "I rigged it!"

Dipper, who was nearby, sprayed a jar and wiped it with a cloth, before saying, "Mabel, I know you're going through your whole "Boy Crazy" phase, but I think you're kind of overdoing it with the "crazy" part."

Mabel turned to him in disbelief. "What?" She said, before blowing a raspberry. She walked towards him, speaking. "Come on, Dipper! This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!"

"Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every guy you meet?" Dipper retorted.

"Dipper's right, Mabes. You're getting a bit too excited over your "potential love interests." I pointed out, saying the last few words with quotation marks. I coughed when Dipper looked at me in approval and turned away, him not noticing the slight red that dusted my cheeks. As quickly as it arrived, the blush went away.

Mabel turned to me and started to complain, "Aw, don't tell me you're with Dip-dop, Hazel!" She shook her head and smirked at Dipper and I.

"Mock all you want, brother and friend, but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams came walking through that door right now!" She pointed to the curtains leading to the museum.

As she finished speaking, Stan came in, burping. Unfortunately, it got caught in his throat. "Oh! Oh, not good. Ow."

I doubled over in laughter, wiping my eyes which were filled with imaginary tears as Mabel whined, "Aw! Why?!" I heard Dipper join in my joy, chuckling.

Man, that scene was hilarious.

Time to prepare for what happens next.

I straightened up as Stan began speaking. "All right, all right, look alive, people. I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest."

I quickly spoke up.

"Not it!"

"Not it!"

"Not it!"

"Uh, also not it!"

Stan slowly turned to his dedicated employee. "Nobody asked you, Soos." He pointed out.

"I know, and i'm comfortable with that." Soos responded, biting into the chocolate bar he had.

Stan turned to Wendy. "Wendy! I need you to put up these signs!" The redhead began her excuse, pretending to reach for the signs.

"I would, but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh…"

"I'd fire all of you if I could." Stan deadpanned. He sighed and turned to us. "Alright, let's make it, eenie, meenie, miney…" He pointed to Dipper, unaware that I shivered as the sentence reminded me of something. "You."

Dipper began to complain. "Aw, what? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched." Stan, in turn, began to complain as well.

"Ugh, not this again."

Dipper desperately tried to convince his grunkle. "I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town! Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out "BEWARE."

Stan looked at the bites. "Kid, that spells out "BEWARB." He deadpanned again as Dipper scratched his arm, before hiding it in embarrassment.

Stan sighed. "Look, kid. The whole "monsters in the forest" thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that." He pointed to a sweaty man with his thumb.

"So quit being so paranoid!" He finished, dumping the signs into Dipper's arms. Dipper sighed.

"Look, kid, why don't you take someone with you? Hazel, go with him." Stan ordered. I pretended to be annoyed, sighing and walking over to Dipper before taking the nails and hammer away.

We walked outside and into the forest, which so happened to be foggy and spooky. Yay.


	3. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

We were busy hanging up signs and, of course, being bored. As I held a sign, I heard Dipper mutter some words while hammering a nail into the bark of a tree we were standing in front of.

"Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I say."

Once he finished, my expression immediately morphed to a, "Really bitch?" He didn't notice me yet.

He walked over to the next tree and grabbed a nail from the pile we stacked on a stump. He finished hammering the nail into the tree. He turned to me and motioned for a sign, his eyes on the pile.

I didn't move. Dipper, upon realizing that he has waited approximately 10-20 seconds and has not detected any movement from me, looked at me with an eyebrow raised. "Uh, Hazel, the si-"

He stopped upon noticing my expression. His face turned into a weirded out one. "Hazel, you okay?"

I sighed and held up a sign, walking towards him. I hung it onto the tree and we got to work on another tree. As I waited for him to finish, I felt the need to address what he said earlier and tell him how wrong he was.

"Hey Dipper."

"Hm?"

"You _do_ realize that you're not the "only one" that thinks this town is weird, right?"

"No-wait, _what?"_ He stopped hammering and looked at me in confusion as I took another sign and hung it onto the nail, raising an eyebrow. "Heard you mumbling earlier, dude."

He laughed nervously and turned away. I noticed a slight red form on his cheeks before fading back to peach, possibly signaling embarrassment.

I resisted the urge to squeal at how cute he was. God, was I forming a crush on Dipper?

I felt my face heat up but immediately turned back to normal as he faced me again. "Okay, so i'm definitely not the only one?" I gave him the "Really bitch?" look again. He shrunk back.

"Nooo, of course not, no one else noticed the _fucking_ multi-colored talking bird that landed in town today. _No one._ " I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

There was actually a multi-colored talking bird that landed in the middle of the town earlier today. Huh.

Dipper sighed. "Okay, okay, I get it. So i'm not crazy. Try telling that to Grunkle Stan, though."

I rolled my eyes and lightly punched his arm. I saw him bite his cheek a bit.

"Dude, who cares what Grunkle Stan says? As long as it's something bad about you or anyone else except for a-holes, you don't have to pay attention." I finished, picking up a sign.

He smiled at me and picked up a nail.

"Thanks, Hazel."

"No problem, dude."

He positioned the nail and hit it with the hammer. Instead of it going into the bark as expected, a metallic sound echoed through the tree.

I raised an eyebrow in mock confusion, however I was internally freaking out and fangirling that we had found the very tree that led to Journal 3. I put down the sign as Dipper looked strangely at the tree.

"Huh?" Dipper said. He took the nail away and tapped on the trunk multiple times with the hammer. As expected, more metallic sounds echoed through. I stepped forward and brushed the dust off of the tree, revealing a secret compartment.

Dipper opened it up and we both coughed at the dust, fanning it away. We stared at the control panel in the tree. I tested out the first switch, and as expected, nothing happened. I tested the second switch and heard something open up behind us, followed by Gompers probably running away.

We turned around and walked over to the hole, before crouching and looking into it.

As expected, Journal 3 was lying there.

I reached in and grabbed the journal, before laying it on the ground in front of us. Dipper looked around for possible witnesses before opening it. He flipped a page and saw an eye-glass, or a monocle? I'm not sure.

He picked it up and examined it before putting it back down. He flipped another page and I reached over to trace the Author's, or Ford's scribbled-down words. Dipper began reading the words aloud.

"It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon."

He flipped through more pages, saying, "What...what is all this?" I shrugged as he stopped on one page.

It was the infamous, " _ **TRUST NO ONE!**_ _"_ page. Dipper read more words aloud.

"Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust."

He closed the book as I blinked, lost in thought. Ford really went through a hard time. I can't believe how stupid he was as to make a deal with a _demon_ , of all things.

It seemed that Dipper was also pondering his life and how much of a lie it was as he murmured, "No one you can trust…"

I mentally prepared myself for what was about to happen next, but it wasn't enough.

" _ **HELLO!"**_

" _AAH!"_

Dipper and I screamed as Mabel popped up from behind a fallen log. I breathed heavily and pressed my hand against my heart.

Yep, that almost gave me a heart attack.

Mabel rested her arms on the log. "Whatcha readin', some nerd thing?"

Dipper clumsily hid the journal behind his back. "Uh, uh, it's nothing!"

" _Uh, uh, it's nothing!"_ Mabel repeated, before laughing as she said, "What? Are you actually not gonna show me?"

Dipper looked at her doubtedly. "Uh…" He then glanced at Gompers, causing me to snicker. "Let's go somewhere private."

* * *

I sat on the armchair drinking a Pitt Cola as Mabel sat on the arm of the chair, watching Dipper pace around. I was watching them. "It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side." He said, showing her the journal.

"Whoaaa, shut up!" Mabel exclaimed, pushing Dipper. I snorted and covered my mouth.

"And get this! After a certain point, the pages just.. stop, like the guy who was writing it... mysteriously disappeared." Dipper excitedly said, before the doorbell rang. He stopped pacing in confusion, closing the journal and turning his head. "Who's that?"

I internally groaned as I realized that Norman the not-zombie-but-a-bunch-of-creepy-gnomes was here. However, I was grateful, as things started to get interesting from here. It was getting a bit boring.

"Welp, time to spill the beans!" Mabel said, before proceeding to poke an empty, dry can of beans. "Boop. Beans." Mabel then pointed to herself using her thumbs and said, "This girl's got a date! Woot woot!" She fell backwards onto my lap, which I responded to by poking her cheek. She giggled.

"Wait, let me get this straight: In the half hour Hazel and I were gone, you already found a boyfriend?" Dipper said in disbelief. I shrugged at him and took another sip. "Dippin' Dots, if Mabel has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend." I then quietly muttered, "As long as it's not a bunch of creepy gnomes."

"What?"

"Ah, nothin'!"

Mabel sat back up on the chair's arm. "What can I say? I guess i'm just IRESSISTIBLEEEEEE!" She said, waving her sweater sleeves around while cross-eyed. The doorbell rang again. Mabel turned to the direction of the door. "Oh! Coming!" She then slid off of the chair and ran off to the door.

I realized that Dipper was supposed to sit on the chair, but because I was on it, he couldn't. I slid onto the arm of the chair and patted the empty chair. "Here ya go, Dip." Dipper sat down while reading the journal and - was that a blush on his face?

Nah, probably my imagination.

"Thanks, Hazel."

"No problemo." I responded, sipping more of my drink. Occasionally I would sneak a glance or two at the journal's pages.

Stan walked into the doorway, drinking a Pitt Cola. "Whatcha readin' there, slick?" Startled, Dipper fumbled to hide the journal. "OH, I was just catching up on…" I snickered as he closed the magazine to look at the cover.

"...Gold Chains for Old Men Magazine?"

Stan, having appeared out of nowhere, leaning on my side of the couch said, "That's a good issue." I then heard Mabel say, "Heeey, family!"

I froze. Did Mabel consider me as a part of the family? I did hear Stan say that he raised me for most of my life.

Or did she forget to address me?

I hope it was the first option.

I looked at Mabel and her "boyfriend" behind the doorway. "Say hello to my new boyfriend!" Norman turned around and I could seriously feel zombie emo vibes from him.

But nah, he was a bunch of gnomes.

"Sup?" He said.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"How's it hangin'?"

Mabel started to rub Norman's arm, which I began to feel weirded out at. "We met at the cemetery. He's _really_ deep." She blinked and squeezed a certain part of his arm. "Oh! Little muscle there. That's…what a surprise…"

At this point I cringed. I turned my head and gagged. Dipper seemed to notice this and covered his mouth in an attempt to hide his laugh. I playfully glared at him and pulled my forefinger through my neck, signalling the, "I'll chop your head off."

I turned back around when Dipper began his investigation. "So, what's your name?" Norman began to mumble and darted his eyes side to side. He shouted, "Uh...Normal...MAN!"

"He means Norman." Mabel corrected, still fawning over her boyfriend.

"Are you bleeding, Norman?" Dipper pointed out, continuing his interrogation. Norman seemed to silently be panicking, before responding, "It's JAM."

I silently snickered. "Sure buddy. Because everybody has jam dripping from their face. Suuuuure." I muttered. Dipper must've heard me because he gave me a thumbs up.

Mabel gasped before playfully hitting Norman. "I _love_ jam! Look. At. This!" Norman spoke up again. "So you wanna go hold hands or...whatever?"

Mabel giggled. "Oh. Oh my goodness. Don't wait up!" She ran out. Norman pointed at us before trying to follow Mabel, slamming into the wall a bunch of times on his way out.

I "tch"ed and looked over at Dipper. "You seriously don't think that Norman is "normal", do you?" I asked him. Dipper's face lit up. "Of course I don't! Maybe the journal will have something."

I smiled before downing the can in one gulp and sliding off the chair, following Dipper. I threw the can away on our way.

* * *

We were up in a part of the house i've never seen before. Dipper and I were sitting at a red puffed up window seat. The window had a triangle on it and the whole window was tinted red, which made the room seem red. Shrugging off my uneasiness, I played with my braid as Dipper read the pages out loud.

"Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for... teenagers?! Beware Gravity Falls' nefarious…" He gasped.

I looked up as Dipper yelled, "ZOMBIE!" I winced, covering my ears.

"Dang Dipper, you trying to make me deaf?!" I playfully complained. He ignored me and looked to the window. I followed his gaze and saw Mabel with Norman. Norman was walking towards Mabel as she said, "I like you."

Dipper began panicking. "Oh, no! Mabel! No, no, Mabel, watch out!"

"She won't be able to hear you, Dipper!" I yelled. Even though I knew what would happen, I was still tense.

We both watched in horror as Norman put his hands around Mabel's shoulders and let go to reveal a flower necklace, Dipper squishing his face further and further into the glass before pulling it away.

Mabel gasped. "Daisies? You scallywag!" I heard her muffled voice say. Dipper sighed and jumped off of the window seat. "Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?"

"It's a dilemma, to be sure."

" _Ah!"_

Dipper gasped while I let out a noise of surprise.

"I couldn't help but overhear you talkin' to yourselves in this empty room." Soos continued, screwing on a lightbulb.

Dipper talked to the handyman while I paged through the journal. "Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's _gotta_ be a zombie, right?"

Soos let out a small noise of thought. "How many brains did you see the dude eat?" I looked up and saw Dipper look down in embarrassment. "...Zero."

Soos continued talking. "Look, dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf."

My mind wandered to the flashback and I snorted. Soos glanced at me in seriousness, which made me snort even more.

"But ya gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people are gonna think you're a major league cuckoo clock."

Dipper sighed. "As always, Soos, you're right."

Soos looked up in seriousness. "My wisdom is both a blessing, and a curse."

I covered up my snickering.

"SOOS! The portable toilets are clogged again!"

"I am needed elsewhere."

Soos proceeded to walk backwards. I was worried if he would fall, but remembered that nothing like that happened, so Soos was safe.

I handed Dipper the journal, which he closed. "So, are we gonna like, stalk them?" I asked him.

Dipper shook his head. "No, we're gonna take video evidence."

"So basically we're stalking and recording their every action."

 _"VIDEO EVIDENCE."_

* * *

A whole day afternoon of stalking and recording later, we were exhausted. However, we had enough evidence.

Dipper slammed the bedroom door. I followed him with the journal and saw Mabel brushing her hair. She turned to us.

"Mabel! We've gotta talk about Norman."

Mabel started gushing. "Isn't he the best?! Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!" She showed her cheek which was a red.

Dipper let out a cry of horror while I doubled over in laughter, remembering what happened in the show. Mabel laughed. "Haha! Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower!"

She then smiled. "That was fun."

Dipper sighed. "No, Mabel, listen! I'm trying to tell you that Norman may not be what he seems!" I handed him the journal, which he showed Mabel.

She gasped. "Do you think he might be a _vampire?!_ That would be so AWESOME!"

Dipper looked at her all serious-like. "Guess again, sister. Sha-BAM!"

Mabel cried, "WAUGH!" I looked at the pages and snickered loudly, covering my mouth. "Pfft!" Even though I knew what page was gonna show up, it was still funny for Dipper to accidentally turn to the Gnomes page.

' _Ah, the irony.'_

"Oh, wait, i'm-i'm sorry. Sha-bam!" He turned to the zombie page and shoved it in Mabel's face. "A zombie? That is not funny, Dipper!"

Dipper started to pace as I took the journal from him. "I'm not joking! It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp." He turned to Mabel and waved his arms around. "He never blinks! Have you noticed that?!"

Mabel tried to come up with an explanation, but alas, it was rubbish. "Maybe _he's_ blinking when _you're_ blinking!"

Dipper went up to Mabel and started whispering. "Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls? Trust no one!" He glanced at me and I stared at him, unimpressed.

' _Betrayal.'_

He quickly turned back to Mabel. She started speaking. "Well, what about _me_ , huh? Why can't you trust _me_?" She popped on some star earrings with her sound effects. "Beep bop!"

Dipper, exasperated, grabbed her shoulders. "Mabel, _he's gonna eat your brain!"_ He yelled, shaking her. I cringed and started to back away when I realized what would happen next.

Mabel glared at him. I got more anxious as the seconds ticked by. She shoved his hand off of her shoulder. "Dipper, listen to me."

"Norman and I are going on a date at five o'clock," Dipper stared at her in surprise.

"and I'm gonna be ADORABLE," She jabbed his chest with her finger, walking forward. Dipper walked backwards.

"and he's gonna be DREAMY," Another jab.

By this time we were both out of the door. Dipper was forced out, while I went out by my own will.

"Bu-bu-but-"

"And I am not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy _**CONSPIRACIES!**_ "

 _ **SLAM.**_

I flinched as the door closed and crouched down. Dipper turned around and slid to the floor, sighing. "What am I gonna do?" He said. I sighed too.

"I don't know, Dipper. I don't know."

* * *

The clock showed 5 o'clock. A doorbell could be heard.

Dipper and I were squished in the chair, too miserable and sad to be embarrassed. We watched over our recorded footage as Mabel walked downstairs. She opened the door and Norman greeted her, said her outfit was shiny before they went off, arm in arm.

Dipper sighed as he watched them go before watching the footage. "Soos was right. I don't have any real evidence." I wasn't sure of how to comfort him, so I only patted his fast-forwarded to Norman with his arm around Mabel. Oh boy.

"I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and—"

I watched as Norman's hand fell off and he reattached it. Dipper screeched, "Wait, WHAT?!" He rewinded the moment and there it was, clear as day.

Dipper screamed and tipped the chair backwards, making it fall over. Luckily, I jumped out at the last second. I helped him up, worried. "Whoa, are you okay?!" He started freaking out. "I was right! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" "Dip-WHOA!" He grabbed my arm and pulled me with him.

Wait, "pulled me with him"?

WHOA WAIT I'M COMING ALONG? SHIT I DON'T WANNA DIE FROM GNOMES FUCK-

"GRUNKLE STAN! GRUNKLE STAN!"

Dipper groaned in frustration and panic as he couldn't get his Grunkle's attention. I saw Wendy driving up and parking the golf cart and gasped, before tugging on his sleeve and pointing to her.

"Good idea!" He rushed over to Wendy and let go of my hand. He screeched, "Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from a zombie!" while waving his arms around erratically.

There was a brief pause before Wendy dropped the keys in my hands. "Try not to hit any pedestrians." She winked at me and walked away. We were both dumbfounded.

"Dang, Wendy's great."

"Come on!"

We ran over to the cart and got it running. Dipper was going to drive and I would be support for battle. We drove off until Soos stopped us.

"Hey dudes, it's me, Soos. This is for the zombie." He handed us a shovel. "Thanks Soos." Dipper said. I grabbed the shovel and put it at the cart. "And this is in case you see a pináta." Soos continued, handing me a baseball bat. I stared at it in confusion. "Uh, thanks?" I said, putting it with the shovel.

As we drove off I heard Soos call out, "Better safe than sorry!"

We're coming, Mabel!


	4. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

"Don't worry, Mabel! I'll save you from that zombie!" Dipper yelled, driving like the cops were chasing him.

I was unprepared for this ordeal, and barely managed to buckle my seatbelt on before beginning to float in the air…

...and then crashing down into my seat.

"Christ Dipper, are you trying to kill me or something?!" I yelled. "Do you want Mabel to die because of a zombie?!" He yelled back. I groaned. "...I hate to admit it but you have a point there." We drove even faster, me clutching on my seat in fear. Suddenly, a question occurred to me.

"Wait, DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO DRIVE?!"

"WHO CARES?! MABEL'S GONNA GET EATEN!"

" _HELP!"_

I froze as I heard Mabel scream. Dipper growled and made the cart go faster. "HOLD ON!" We drove down a hill and into a certain area, where gnomes were gathered around Mabel. She was struggling as they tried to tie her down.

Dipper and I got out of the cart. I handed him the shovel while I grabbed the baseball bat. We walked forward, before Dipper exclaimed, "What the HECK is going on here?!"

Mabel responded. "Dipper! Hazel! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're _total_ jerks!" A gnome started pulling her hair. "Ah! Hair! Hair! HAIR!"

Dipper looked in disbelief. "Gnomes? Huh-" "You were _way_ off." I cut him off, before he reached into his vest and looked through the journal, before flipping to the gnome page.

""Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls Forest. Weaknesses: unknown." He said aloud. I gasped at Mabel, who was successfully tied down. "Mabel!" Mabel complained, "Aw, come on!"

Dipper looked up and blinked in surprise. He put the journal away and stalked forward, with me following beside him. "Hey, hey!" Let go of my sister!" He yelled. "Yeah, let her go!" I said.

Jeff turned to us and began to ramble. "Oh! Ha ha, hey, there! Um, you know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding-"

"Misunderstanding?! Since when is a kidnapping a misunderstanding?!" I yelled. Jeff raised his hands up, to signify that he had more to say. I grumbled.

"You see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity! Isn't that right, honey?" Jeff finished, turning to Mabel.

"You guys are BUTT-FACES!" Mabel yelled, before a gnome covered her mouth. She yelled more, but the things she were saying were muffled.

Dipper stepped forward and pointed the shovel threateningly at Jeff. "Give her back right now, or else!" He yelled. Jeff glared at him.

"You think you can stop us, boy? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the—"

Dipper and I looked at each other, unimpressed. He stepped forward and casually scooped Jeff up, before tossing the gnome away. "AAH!" Jeff yelled.

We ran forward. Dipper cut the rope around Mabel while I warded off the gnomes that were running at us by hitting them with my bat. We ran to the cart, Dipper taking the wheel, Mabel next to him and me at the end of the seat. It was cramped, but we managed.

"He's getting away with our queen! No, no, NO!"

"Seatbelt." Dipper told us. Mabel and I both buckled our seatbelts, and off we went.

Mabel worriedly said, "Hurry, before they come after us!" Dipper chuckled. "I wouldn't worry about it. See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny!"

"I wouldn't say that if I were you." I muttered, but it was loud enough for them to hear. Dipper turned to me. "Seriously?" He said, as if I had told them a joke.

Suddenly, a loud stomping noise came behind us. Dipper stopped the cart. "They're here." I muttered. Oh boy. We all watched as the giant gnome creature towered over us.

"Dang." Mabel said. I nodded.

"Dang, indeed." I snapped out of my shock and barked at Dipper. "Dip! The hell are you doing?! We gotta get outta here!" Dipper snapped back into reality and quickly pressed the accelerator, driving forward. We started to scream as the giant-gnome-monster chased us.

Mabel looked back. "It's getting closer!" She yelled, making me tense up. "SHIT!" I yelled, as the gnomes started to land on the cart.

Mabel used her elbow to punch a gnome off. I grabbed the baseball bat and swung it several times at the oncoming gnomes, Mabel cheering me on. Shmebulock came up behind Dipper, who grabbed the gnome and slammed him several times into the steering wheel, before Shmebulock fell out of the cart.

A gnome managed to make it's way onto Dipper's face and scratch at it. Mabel yelled, "I'll save you, Dipper!" before punching the gnome and Dipper's face multiple times. Sure, it was funny, but I was busy handling the golf cart, steering it with difficulty.

Finally, the gnome managed to fall off of Dipper's face, along with his hat. A black-eyed Dipper with multiple injuries mumbled a very dazed, "Thanks, Mabel…" She replied, "Don't mention it."

The giant gnome picked up a tree and hurled it towards the front of the cart. Mabel yelled, "LOOK OUT!" while I braced myself for impact. I screamed as Dipper barely managed to dodge the tree, but caused the cart to overturn.

I landed onto the ground, hard. "Fuck, that hurts…" I mumbled. I fixed my glasses which were miraculously intact, before checking that all of my limbs worked. They did. I crawled out of the cart weakly as the gnome giant approached us, Dipper and Mabel following me.

I stood up alongside Dipper and Mabel with my baseball bat. "Stay back, man!" Dipper yelled, before throwing the shovel at the gnomes. As expected, the giant punched it downwards before it could reach them. I tried to throw it at gnomes with pretty much the same result: they split it into pieces.

"AAAAAH!" We screamed, Dipper and Mabel hugging each other while I backed away.

"Uh, where's Grunkle Stan?!" Dipper asked, afraid. I growled. "Doing his tourist crap!" I responded in fear.

Jeff looked at us, angry. "It's the end of the line, kids! Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!"

"SHE'LL NEVER MARRY YOU!" I screeched, as Dipper fumbled to grab the journal. "There's gotta be a way out of this!" He mumbled.

Mabel stepped forward, and I prepared myself for her awesomeness. "I gotta do it."

Dipper and I stared at Mabel. I feigned shock as I tried to "reason" with her. "What?! Mabel, don't do this! Are you crazy?!" He whisper-yelled. I nodded and said, "Did you hit your head?!"

Mabel turned to us. "Trust me." The other Pines twin looked at her in shock. "What?!" "Dipper, just this once, trust me!" I placed a hand onto Dipper's shoulder and nodded at him. Reluctantly, we backed away.

"All right, Jeff, i'll marry you."

Jeff rambled in delight as he climbed down the gnome stack. He walked in front of Mabel and opened the box, containing a diamond ring. "Eh? Eh?" He pointed to it, before sliding it onto Mabel's finger.

I whispered to Dipper, "I'm gonna steal that." He looked at me in disbelief as I shrugged.

"Bada bing, bada bam! Let's get you back into the forest, honey!" Jeff exclaimed, before beginning to walk off. "You may now kiss the bride!" Mabel called after him. He froze but turned around. "Well, don't mind if I do!"

Mabel leaned in for a kiss, but pulled out a leaf blower and pointed it at Jeff instead. "Yeah! Go Mabes!" I cheered.

"Ah! Hey, hey, wait a minute! Whoa, whoa! Wh-what's goin' on?!" Jeff started to get sucked into the leaf blower. Dipper stared at her in amazement.

Mabel started to yell at Jeff. "That's for lying to me!" She increased the sucking power. "That's for breaking my heart!"

"Ow, OW! MY FACE!" He yelled.

"And THIS is for messing with my brother and friend!" She pointed the leaf blower at us. "Wanna do the honors?" She asked.

"Uh, duh!"

Dipper and I took hold of the leaf blower, along with Mabel. "On three! One, two," I aimed the leaf blower at the gnomes as the twins pressed the outwards button.

"THREE!"

Jeff cannonballed into the giant, making it crash down. I laughed as we fell into a pile of leaves. The remaining gnomes scattered, confused about orders.

Mabel blew the leaf blower at them, as Dipper said, "Anybody else want some?" They all scampered away as I laughed. We all started walking into the Mystery Shack until Mabel started to speak.

"Hey, Dipper?" He turned around. "I, um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me." Dipper smiled at her. "Oh, don't be like that. You saved our butts back there." He comforted her as I watched, feeling sappy.

"I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes." Mabel said, gloomy. Dipper cracked a grin at her. "Look on the bright side. Maybe the next one _will_ be a vampire!"

Mabel laughed. "Oh, you're just saying that!"

"Awkward sibling hug?"

"Awkward sibling hug."

They hugged each other for a moment, before opening their eyes and patting each other on the back. "Pat, pat." I stood by and watched, before turning around.

Until I felt a hand tug at my shirt. I got pulled into a hug by Mabel, my cheek squished into Dipper's cheek. I felt my face heat up as Mabel cheerfully said, "Awkward friend hug!" I laughed and patted her back. "Pat, pat."

My face cooled down as I pulled away. "Welp, i'm on the verge of collapsing. I gotta go home, see ya." I turned around until Mabel grabbed my hand. "Sleepover, PLEASE!" She begged. I blinked and laughed. "Sure. Stan has spare clothes for me whenever I have to stay over."

Mabel grinned and pulled me inside, followed by Dipper. I caught sight of Stan, who looked up from counting money. "Sleepover?" He asked. I nodded.

"Anyways, yeesh. You guys get hit by a bus or something? Ha!" I noticed the leaves in our hair and clothes. Too tired to care, I collapsed onto the floor, mumbling a muffled, "Ow."

Stan coughed. "Uh, hey! W-wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh... how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, y'know?"

I stood up, rubbing my face. Mabel asked, "Really?" as Dipper crossed his arms and said, "What's the catch?

"The catch is do it before I change my mind, now take something." Stan said, annoyed. We all split up in order to find our item. I looked at Dipper, who took his signature Pine Tree hat. He put it on and murmured to himself. I turned back around and looked for something as Mabel declared, "And I will have a...GRAPPLING HOOK! Yes!"

I turned around and stifled a laugh as Dipper and Stan stared at her. "Wouldn't you rather have like, a doll or something?" Stan asked.

"GRAPPLING HOOK!" Mabel yelled, shooting it upwards and knocking over a tall box labeled, "FRAGILE" while she was at it. She hung from the ceiling beam.

"Fair enough!"

The item that caught my eye was a music box.

It looked intricate and well decorated, trees and roses painted on it. I picked it up and tested it out. To my surprise, it opened up to a figurine of a rose in the middle, spinning around while it played the music box version of the Gravity Falls theme.

I noticed a secret compartment in the inner lid and clicked it, before it fell open, revealing a picture of the Zodiac (With a rose added? Who was that?) a picture of the Stan o' War and a drawing of Bill Cipher. The upper area of the drawing was torn off, but it was still clear. But the last item that caught my eye was a beautiful gold necklace with a rose charm. The rose seemed to be glowing.

I closed the secret compartment and the music box, before turning around and standing up. "This one." I said, before going to the living room.

Well, I tried to, but someone grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"Whoa, you aren't sleeping on the couch, are you? You're going in our room! I have a spare sleeping bag!" Mabel declared, before pushing me upstairs. I blinked before laughing.

* * *

I stared at the music box. I was on the floor in a sleeping bag, with blankets. Dipper was writing in the journal while Mabel was bouncing up and down on my bed.

Dipper spoke to me as he put the journal away. "Hey, Hazel?"

I looked up. "Yes?"

"Why'd you get a music box?"

I shrugged and opened the box up, before twisting the handle at the end, playing the song.

I didn't notice until the song ended, that both Dipper and Mabel were staring at the box, completely silent. I looked at them. "Uh, guys? What's wrong?"

Dipper spoke up. "I don't know, I just feel like that song sounded familiar." Mabel nodded in agreement.

"Well, i'm tired. Goodnight!" I said, putting the box and my glasses away before lying down and snuggling into my blankets, trying to fall asleep.

"Hey, Mabel? Could you get the lights!"

"On it!"

 _Crash._

"It worked!"

"Hahahaha!"

I smiled, before falling asleep.

I have to get ready for tomorrow, anyways. There's a 50/50 chance of me coming and not coming along.


	5. Chapter 4

_**Hello, hello! Netsunii here! I will be responding to comments as best as I can.**_

 _ **Lunar Moon Butterfly: Oh geez, thank you so much ;w;**_

 _ **M.J. Lyte: I think I might know what that story is, but i'm probably wrong. And thank you!**_

 _ **On to the story!**_

 _ **EDIT 1: Sorry~! Forgot to add some horizontal lines and absent-mindedly typed Chapter 5 instead of 4.**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 4**_

 _I opened my eyes, only to be met with darkness. "...What?" The darkness became a calming, dark green color with drawings splattered across the area, floating. They were all sketches of an unidentifiable object, either torn or blurry._

 _I floated around, poking at some of them. They moved. I turned around and continued navigating the area._

" _Well, well, well. What do we have_ _ **HERE?**_ _"_

 _A familiar, mad voice playfully said._

 _I turned around to see a yellow brick triangle with a top hat, a cane and one eye._

" _The name's Bill Cipher, isn't it? Good to see you." I gritted my teeth, smiling fakely at him._

 _Bill laughed at my expense. "Oh, this is new! A person that knows my name. Now now, Rose-"_

" _Rose?" I echoed in confusion. Bill squinted his eye, possibly amused. "Yes, Rose. That's who you are on the Zodiac-"_

" _I'm on the_ _ **Zodiac**_ _? The fu-" Bill cut me off by waving his hand around. "Now now, no need for such language. I'm sure you're confused at how to get home, aren't you?" I made a noise of disapproval._

" _No way in hell am I making a deal with you. Fuck that." I started to wave my arms around, forcing Bill to float back. "Rose," he said with annoyance. "If you just let me ex-"_

" _NOPE I AM NOT MAKING A DEAL WITH YOU GOOD_ _ **FUCKING**_ _RIDDANCE GOODBYE SEE YA FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT." I yelled, slapping myself._

I sat upright, sweating. I sighed and ran my fingers through my greasy, tangled hair. I cringed.

 _Welp, step 1: Get cleaned up._

I stood up and stretched, before brushing my hair with one of Mabel's brushes. "She won't mind, right?" I murmured to myself, as I struggled to comb my dark brown hair. Once I finished, I braided it again and slipped on my glasses, before sneaking into the bathroom and freshening my face up.

I went back into the room and picked up the spare clothes Stan gave me: a slightly large lime green hoodie, a black shirt to wear underneath, and black leggings, though I didn't wear the leggings yet. I slipped on the shirt and hoodie.

To make things easier for myself, I slipped on the stockings first and then put on my leggings. I then completed the look by putting on my boots before looking at myself in the mirror.

 _Huh. Kinda reminds me of Mike Inel's design for Reverse!Gideon. Welp, gotta get me some breakfast–wait, do I still have my breakfast bars?_

I reached into my bag for the bars and only found a note. It read:

 _Hi Hazel! Gompers terrorized us while you were sleeping, and we had to feed him all of your breakfast bars. Grunkle Stan made you breakfast though, so no worries!_

 _-Mabel_

The ends of my lips quirked upward in amusement. "Strangely convenient, but ah, it's fine. Breakfast, here I come!" I tucked the note back into my bag and closed the satchel, before taking it with me.

I walked downstairs, and made my way to the kitchen, where Dipper and Mabel were having their syrup race. I hid in the corner and snickered silently as I heard Mabel imply that she wanted a syrup race.

"Are you ready for the ultimate challenge?" Mabel asked daringly. "I'm _always_ ready!" Dipper shot back. "Then you know what this means!" Both twins pumped their hands with their respective syrup bottles into the air.

" _Syrup race!"_

They were quick to act, both opening their bottles and holding them upside down. "Go Sir Syrup!" Mabel yelled enthusiastically. "Go Mountie Man!" Dipper said, instead of yelled, but at the same level of cheer nonetheless.

"Go, go!"

"Almost, almost…" Mabel's syrup began to fall onto her tongue as Dipper urged for his syrup to fall faster. The brunette hit the bottom of her syrup bottle, making the contents of it fully fall onto her tongue. I wasn't sure if she cheated or not, but it was a win.

"Yes!"—Mabel started to choke onto her syrup. "I won!" She continued to cough before calming down as Dipper put down his bottle and picked up the newspaper.

I think that was my cue to enter.

I walked in as casually as I could, feigning ignorance as to what happened.. "G'morning, dudes." I said, sliding a chair out of the table and sitting down on it before sliding it back in.

"Good morning, Hazel!" "Good morning." Both twins greeted me with happiness as I took a plate which I guessed was mine, (It had five pancakes stacked on top of each other, with my name written in syrup on it.) and began eating.

I swallowed my pancake as Dipper exclaimed, "Ho ho, no way! Hey Mabel, Hazel, check this out." He flipped the newspaper so that the back of it was facing him, while the front was facing us. I ate another bite of my pancake as Mabel said, "Human-sized hamster balls?!"

She gasped. "I'm human-sized!" I swallowed the bite I took and put down my fork. "No no, Mabel, I think Dip meant this." I pointed to the monster contest ad next to the hamster ball ad.

"We've seen weirder stuff than that everyday! We didn't get a picture of those gnomes, did we?" asked Dipper. "Nope! Just memories." Mabel cheerfully answered. "And this beard hair." She held up a gray tuft of hair. I cringed as Dipper asked, "Why would you save that?" Mabel shrugged her shoulders and made an, "I dunno." sound.

"If you guys have seen weirder stuff everyday, why put the gnomes forward in the top spot?" Surely someone else has submitted a photo with gnomes already." I pointed out.

Dipper laughed nervously. "Oh, I didn't think about that." Mabel agreed with him. Just then, Stan entered the room. "Good morning, knuckleheads. You two know what day it is?"

Both twins started guessing as I silently chuckled. "Um, happy anniversary?" Dipper tried. "Mazel tov!" Mabel cheered. Stan raised the rolled-up newspaper and brought it down onto Dipper's head. However, I caught it before it hit his hat.

"Family fun day?" I guessed. Stan brightened up and took the newspaper away. "Finally, someone pays attention!" He opened up the fridge, looking inside. "Anyways,, we're cuttin' off work, having one of those, you know," I could practically imagine Stan sniffing the milk, and I silently snickered.

"Bonding type deals?" I guessed again, before taking a bite off of one of my pancakes. Stan closed the fridge, milk in hand. He ruffled my hair, causing me to choke in surprise. Whoa whoa, Stanley Pines is being affectionate? To _me?_

Who the hell is this person?

I coughed, unclogging my throat as Dipper and Mabel looked at me in worry. "I'm fine," I wheezed. "Just remembered when Mabel told me about you guys being stuck in the county jail." Stan looked at me, unimpressed while Mabel shivered at the memory. "Ugh, it was so cold." She muttered.

"Alright, alright, I know I haven't been the best summer caretaker. But I swear, today we'll be having some _real_ family fun." Stan put his hands on the top of Mabel and Dipper's seats. "Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?!"

"Yay!"

My eyes snapped open as I lowered my hands, embarrassed. I was probably not invited. I glanced at Grunkle Stan as Dipper spoke.

"Wait, what?"

Stan ushered the two out of their seats. "Ya heard me! Go get dressed and come back here, i'll have the blindfolds ready!" They rushed off, Mabel excited while Dipper seemed to be mumbling words of caution to himself.

Grunkle Stan turned to me. "Alright, finish up your pancakes." I tilted my head as I stabbed into a pancake. "I-I'm coming along?" I stuttered. Stan laughed. "Kid, of course you're coming along! I asked your dad earlier and he said it was fine. Now hurry up!"

I smiled down at my almost-finished pancakes, before attempting to scarf down a whole pancake without biting it into portions.

I almost choked to death.

* * *

I yelped along with the twins as the car bumped over something. A few minutes later, the tires screeched, signalling to me that Stan probably leant down to adjust the radio.

"Whoa, whoa!"–Dipper sighed. "Blindfolds never lead to anything good." _How right you are, Dip._ Unfortunately, I was also wearing a blindfold and all I could see was black.

"Wow, I feel like all of my other senses are heightened. I can see with my fingers!" Mabel said. I heard Dipper laughing, which possibly meant that she touched her twin's face.

The car then jumped, causing me to ram into the door. I felt Mabel press into me.

"Whoa!"

"Grunkle Stan, are _you_ wearing a blindfold?" Dipper asked worryingly. Stan laughed. "Ha ha, nah. But with these cataracts I might as well be!" I imagined him leaning forward and cringed as I realized we were about to drive through a wooden guardrail.

"What is that, a woodpecker?"

 _Crunch_.

I screamed as I felt the car zooming forward uncontrollably, followed by the twins' screams.

" _STAN!"_

* * *

I breathed heavily as I stumbled out of the car, holding my arms out in front of me in an attempt to tell myself if there was an obstacle or not.

"Never again...never again…" I mumbled, shivering. I bumped into something hairy, which I registered as Mabel's hair from the sound it made, and moved beside her.

"Okay, okay, open 'em up!" Stan declared. I took off my blindfold and, as expected, saw the Gravity Falls lake. "Ta-da! It's fishin' season!" He explained.

"Fishing?" Mabel asked. "What're you playin' at, old man?" Dipper asked, suspicious of this sudden development. "You're gonna love it! The whole town's out here!" Stan continued, gesturing to the people. I peered at them.

Lazy Susan was in a boat, holding a fishing pole and a pan. "Here, fishy fishies! Get into the pan!" She encouraged.

Toby Determined was standing in front of a man who was holding a fish. He held up his camera and said, "Say cheese!" He then took a picture, with the flash on so bright that it caused the man to yell, "Augh!" before falling backwards, into the water. "...Oops." Toby said, lowering the camera.

One of Manly Dan's sons (I believe his name was Marcus?) held up a fishing pole. "Uh, is this good?" He asked his father. Manly Dan yelled, "NO!" before taking the pole and snapping it in half. He said, "I'll show you how a _real_ man fishes!" before reaching into the water, grabbing a fish, laughing, dropping it onto the floor of the boat, jumping on it and punching it repeatedly as his sons chanted, "Dad! Dad! Dad!"

 _Reminds me of Elfman from Fairy Tail._ I snickered silently, before diverting my attention to Stan. "That's some quality family bonding!" He exclaimed. I smiled before looking at the twins. "Grunkle Stan, why do you wanna _bond_ with us all of a sudden?" Dipper asked, still unsure of this development from his grunkle. "Come on, this is gonna be great!" Stan encouraged. He then continued. "I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me: they don't 'like' or 'trust' me."

Mabel nudged Dipper and I before quietly saying, "I think he _actually_ wants to fish with us." Stan smiled and I knew what he was gonna do next. "Hey, I know what'll cheer you sad sacks up. " He then produced three hats from behind his back, slapping two onto the twins' heads before slapping the third one onto mine.

"Pow! Pines family fishing hats! Th-That's hand stitching, you know." He enthusiastically said. I snickered as I glanced at Mabel's hat. The 'L' in 'MABEL' peeled off, like in the show. I looked at mine. It said, 'HAZEL'. The 'L' was stitched only halfway, so the top of the letter drooped down. Nevertheless, appreciating that he made me a hat, I put it back on and adjusted it.

"Whaddaya think?" I turned to the twins and immediately became acutely aware that a laugh escaped my lips, which I tried to cover up as the twins looked at me, one confused and the other giggling at my reaction. Dipper, like in the show, had put his fishing hat onto his pine tree cap. It looked ridiculous, which for some reason invoked an amused reaction from me.

"What? What is it?" Dipper asked, completely lost as to why I was currently giggling along with Mabel. "Nice–Pftt, nice hat stack." I snickered. Dipper shrugged and adjusted his fishing hat, which caused Mabel and I to almost explode in laughter. After calming down, we all turned to Stan.

"Alright, alright. Time to get to the main occasion. It's just gonna be you, me, and those goofy hats on a boat for _ten hours!_ " Stan enthusiastically said. The twins immediately spiralled into distress and horror. " _Ten_ hours?!" Dipper asked, not believing the situation he was in. Mabel shared a similar expression to his, while I stayed calm.

"I brought thejoke book!" Stan held up a book with the words, " _1001 Yuk 'Em Ups"._ I immediately became horrified, and I wasn't acting either. "No! _NO!_ " Dipper cried, raising his arm as an attempt to "protect himself" from the horrifying fate that appeared before us. Mabel turned her head to us. "There has to be a way out of this…" She desperately said, as we took off our hats.

 _Three, two...one._

" _ **I SEEN IT!"**_

 _Here comes McGucket._


	6. Chapter 5

_**Hello hello, Netsunii here again!**_

 _ **Lunar Moon Butterfly: Actually, it's spelled "McGucket". I hope that you like how I handled him in this chapter!**_

 _ **Angelwings2002: Thank you! I hope that you will find this chapter interesting as well.**_

 _ **Here's a long chapter to make up for the fact that I haven't updated in a long time;;; Hope you enjoy!**_

 _ **ALSO MY INTERNET IS BACK :DDDDDD**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 5**_

" _ **I SEEN IT AGAIN!"**_ McGucket yelled, pushing two men aside. He then dashed towards a random direction, breaking a fishing pole holder along with the fishing poles in it, flipping a table with buckets filled with slimy fish and a fishing line on top of it and slapping someone's footlong out of their hands before running to a random man and grabbing the side of his arms. "The Gravity Falls _Gobblewonker!_ Come quick before it scrabdoodles away!" He threw the man aside, then danced frantically, while mumbling noises to himself. He then slapped himself on the kneecap.

Mabel smiled at him. "Aww, he's doing a happy jig." McGucket grabbed the sides of Mabel's shoulders. " _NOO!_ " He said in terror as Mabel backed away. "It's a jig of great _danger!_ " I instantly felt insanely sorry for the man. He lost his sanity, because of who?

Stupid Stanford.

Seriously though what the abso _lute fRICK WAS HE THINKING —_

I shook my head and sighed in frustration, ending my self-rant.

Tate McGucket (I believe that was his name?) then came out, yelling, "Hey! HEY! Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers? This is your last warning, Dad!" McGucket's son sprayed his father with a spray bottle, while the insane man made a sound of terror. McGucket then exclaimed, "But I got proof this time! By gummity!" catching Mabel and Dipper's attention.

A few minutes later, most of the people crowded around a boat that was broken clean in half with McGucket saying, "BEHOLD! It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done did it!" He then went on to a description of the supposed-Gobblewonker. "It had a long neck like a gee-raffe! And wrinkly skin like...like this gentleman here!" He pointed to Stan, who was picking his ear. _Ew._ I gagged as Stan said, "Huh?" pulling out his pinky.

"It chawed my boat up to smitheroons, and shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!" He desperately said. Sheriff Blubs then said, "Attention all units! We got ourselves a crazy old man!" Everyone began laughing at Fiddleford, except for the Pines, Tate and I. His father walked off, saying, "Aw, donkey spittle! Aw, banjo polish!" as I silently glanced at him with pity.

We turned to the direction the man walked off. "Well, that happened." Stan said. He then cheered up, saying, "Now let's untie this boat and get out on that lake!" He stepped into the rowboat and began untying the boat from the dock. I turned to Dipper and Mabel, not wanting to stare at Stan while he was untying the boat.

Dipper began conversation with Mabel. "Mabel, did you hear what that old dude said?"

"Aww, donkey shpittle!" Mabel poorly mimicked. I suppressed the urge to chuckle and stepped in with my own words. "No no, Mabes, I think Dip meant the part where McG – uh, I mean, that old man said the thing about the Gobblewonker...thing." I cleared my throat awkwardly, trying to ignore my ob _vious as fuck mistAKE OH MY GOD WHY DID I MAKE THAT STUPID MISTAKE FUCK —_

"Yeah, Hazel, you're right." Dipper said. He then continued on with, "Anyways, if we can snag a photoof it, we can split the prize fifty-fifty." Mabel gasped. "That's _two_ fifties!" I quietly chuckled at her over-enthusiasm.

Dipper then began to emphasize his words. "Imagine what you could do with five. Hundred. Dollars!" Mabel then sank into her imagination. I remembered that she was fantasizing about buying the huge hamster ball, and I immediately tried to laugh as silently as I could.

Dipper then blinked as he seemed to realize something. "Ah, wait..." I stopped laughing in slight concern and looked up at his face. His expression was contorted to a similar look to conflict and...something else. He began muttering as he sank into his own little reverie. I raised my eyebrow, but decided not to question it.

I then remembered that I had to bring both twins to reality and sighed. I began with Dipper by poking his forehead. "Hey. Hey Dipper. Hey." I said, repeatedly poking the area. He didn't seem to budge. I decided to try another strategy and poked his cheek. "Hey Dip-dop. Dip-stick? Stick in the mud? Helloooo? Geez, you're such a pain." I huffed as I tried to bring him back to reality, but to no avail.

I decided to come back to him later, and turned to Mabel, poking her cheek. "Boop." Fortunately, she was easier to wake up as she snapped her head upwards, looking around. "Huh? What?"

She then remembered what situation she was in and pumped her fists in the air, enthusiastically yelling, "Dipper, I am one million percent on board with this!"

Her yell was the thing that _finally_ caused Dipper to stand up straight in shock and look around in confusion. Having remembered the situation he was in, he cleared his throat and marched over to Stan in excitement.

"Grunkle Stan! Change of plans: we're taking that boat to Scuttlebutt Island, and we're gonna find that Gobblewonker!" He excitedly explained. Stan opened his mouth to protest but was cut off by the twins chanting, "Monster hunt! Monster hunt!" which I joined in.

Soon after, McGucket joined the chanting, which made the twins and I stare at him after realizing that he joined our chant. "Monster...Eh, i'll go." He trailed off, walking away awkwardly as I held in a chuckle.

Out of nowhere, a large honking noise came, joined soon after by Soos in his large boat. I whistled softly, amazed at the size up close. "You dudes say somethin' about a monster hunt?" He asked.

"Soos!" Mabel and I said simutaneously, clearly joyous to see him. "Wassup, hambone?" The female Pines twin and the large man proceeded to fist bump, then made explosion sounds. I watched them, a bit jealous. Fortunately, Soos turned to me and raised his hand. I grinned and high-fived him.

Soos began talking. "Dude, you could totally use my boat for your hunt. It's got a steering wheel, chairs; normal boat stuff." "Uh, yeah, and a painted title on it's side." I pointed out, pointing to the _S.S. Cool Dude_ on the boat.

"Oh yeah. That too." Soos nonchalantly exclaimed. Stan, irritated, stepped in with his own words. "All right, all right, let's think this through. Ya kids could go waste your time on some epic monster-finding adventure, _or_ you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Great Uncle Stan!"

The twins and I look to Soos, who was doing a robot dance. We look to Stan, who was smelling his left armpit. Finally, we looked to Scuttlebutt Island, which was in the distance. We then looked at each other in excitement.

"So, whaddaya say?" Stan asked, confident.

Soon, I found myself in Soos' boat with the twins and the owner, laughing as we drove off to the island.

"We made the right choice!" Mabel exclaimed. "Yes!" Soos agreed. I guiltily looked at Stan and his boat, which were both quickly disappearing.

"I suppose so..." I sighed.

* * *

Dipper stood on the stern of the boat, with a foot on the guardrail, both hands on his hips. He adjusted the visor of his cap and turned around. "Hoist the anchor!" He yelled. Soos obeyed and lifted the rope, which was tied to a cinderblock on it's other side. I silently snickered at the amateur anchor.

"Raise the flag!" Dipper ordered. Mabel held up a beach towel, making me smile. "We're gonna find that Gobblewonker!" She enthusiastically said. "We're gonna win that photo contest!" Dipper said, with as much enthusiasm as his sister.

"Do any of you dudes have sunscreen?" Soos asked. A small moment of silence arrived soon after. I cleared my throat. "We're gonna...go get sunscreen!" I tried. Mabel and Soos took a liking to this idea, both cheering.

"Yay!"

The boat made a U turn, away from the island and back to the shore.

After purchasing the sunscreen and retrieving my satchel from Stan's car, (I packed some things in there that I deemed neccessary for our adventure) we were busy driving to Scuttlebutt Island. I was standing behind the guardrail, looking into the water for any signs of a certain robotic monster. Soos was busy handling the boat, Mabel was playing with her sweater and Dipper was god knows where.

After a few minutes, Dipper came towards me with Mabel and Soos in tow. I raised an eyebrow, turning around fully. Mabel and Soos lined up next to me as the male Pines twin cleared his throat and began pacing.

"Alright. If we wanna win this contest, we've gotta do it right!" He said, determined. He then turned to us. "Think. What's the number one problem with most monster hunts?" He asked. Soos jumped to answer.

"You're a side character, then you die within the first five minutes of the movie." He then realized something and widened his eyes in horror. "Dude, am I a side character?! Do y'ever think about stuff like that?" Mabel and I turned to him, concerned. "No, no, Soos, I don't think you're a side character." I reassured him.

Dipper was quick to tell Soos that he was wrong. "No, no, no. C-" I jumped in with my own guess. "Camera trouble?" I offered. The male looked at me in shock, before smiling.

"Correct. Say Bigfoot shows up. Uh, Soos, be Bigfoot?" Soos complied and posed as Bigfoot. I stifled a giggle from his ridiculous pose and facial expression.

"There he is! Bigfoot!" Dipper fakely exclaimed. He patted his lifevest. "Uh-oh, no camera!" He then pulled out a camera from his vest. "Oh wait, here's one!" He then posed, pretending to take a picture. He pulled his face away from the camera. "Aw, no film!" He then stopped posing, looking at us and gesturing to himself then us.

"You see? You see what I'm, doing here?" He said. Mabel and I nodded in agreement as Soos said, "Oh yeah, dude's got a point."

"That's why I bought _twenty-one_ disposable cameras!" He revealed the location of each camera as he listed them off. "Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, four for each of you," He handed us our cameras, before continuing.

"Three extras in this bag, and one... under my hat! There's no way we're gonna miss this. Okay everybody, let's test out cameras out!" Dipper finished. Soos took a picture of himself, but the flash seemed to startle him as he threw the camera overboard. "Aw, dude!"

Dipper smugly said, "You see? This is exactly why you need backup cameras. We still have twenty!"

Mabel threw a camera at a flying seagull, the camera missing and falling into the water. "Ah, bird!" She yelled. Dipper laughed nervously. "Nineteen! Okay guys, I repeat; DON'T lose your cameras?"

"Wait, lose the cameras?" Soos asked. "DON'T!" Dipper exclaimed in horror. "Dude, I just threw four away." The large man confessed. Dipper sighed in frustration. "Assuming that Hazel has already lost at least one or two of her cameras, we have fourteen or thirteen–" He smashed a camera accidentally with his fist. His eye twitched. "Twelve. We have twelve."

I coughed. "Uh, actually, I still have all of my cameras – WAIT MABEL DON'T—!" I turned to see Mabel throwing two of my cameras at the seagulls flying above and began to yell. "Die, die, die!" She yelled. The cameras missed the birds, one of the devices falling back onto the boat and being smashed to pieces by the impact, and the other one hit the water.

"Okay. So twelve." I blankly said. Dipper sighed.

"So what's the plan? Throw more cameras overboard or what?" Mabel asked, holding up a bag with cameras near the guardrail. "NO!" Dipper yelped. He took a deep breath as the female Pines twin lowered the bag. "No. Okay. You and Hazel'll be lookout, Soos can work the steering wheel, and I'll be captain."

Mabel disapproved of this idea. "What? Why do you get to be captain? What about Mabel, huh?" She began chanting her name. "Ma-bel! Ma-bel! Ma-bel! Ma-bel!"

Dipper looked at her with doubt. "I'm not sure that's a good idea." Mabel, still not giving up, asked, "What about co-captain?" The male gave her a strange look.

"There's no such thing as co-captain." He deadpanned. Mabel, clearly willing to do whatever it took to be co-captain, tossed a camera into the water. Eleven cameras. "Aw, whoops." Her voice clearly showed she did it on purpose.

"Okay, fine!" Dipper rapidly said, desperate to save his cameras. "You can be co-captain." He gave in, though with a bit of a salty look. Mabel was clearly ecstatic. "Can I be associate co-captain?" Soos asked, not wanting to be left out.

"As co-captain, I authorize that request." Mabel said, already taking advantage of her position. "Well, as first co-captain, our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with this." He gestured to a barrel of Fish Food(™).

"Permission to taste some?" Soos asked. "Granted." Dipper immediately said, not seeing the harm in the request. "Permission co-granted." Mabel chimed in. "Permission associate co-granted." Soos finished the granting, before licking some of the fish food.

His face contorted to a look of disgust as he gagged, before wiping his tongue. He coughed, saying, "Dude, I don't know what I expected that to taste like!" The twins and I burst into laughter, with Dipper saying, "Oh, Soos..."

* * *

The boat was slowly approaching the island. I quickly took note of how fog began to surround us, making me shudder. I clutched my satchel, noting that I might need to use my flashlight later.

Soos was at the back, shovelling fish food to the side. I was at the front with Dipper and Mabel. Dipper tried to see through the fog while Mabel was having a blast playing ventriquolist with a pelican.

"Hey! How's it going?" She then pretended to be the pelican. _"It's going awesome! Bow bow, buh bow bow!"_ Dipper sighed in exasperation. "Mabel, leave that thing alone." _"Aw, I don't mind none!"_

"Hey, look, I'm drinking water!" She then poured the water in her mouth and began to sing as the pelican. _"Twinkle, twinkle little..."_ Mabel choked on the water and began to cough, causing the pelican to fly away.

Dipper said, "Aren't you supposed to be doing lookout?" Mabel then exclaimed, "Look out!" before throwing a beach ball at her twin's arm. He held his arm, shivering.

"Heh heh. But seriously, i'm on it." She said. Suddenly, the boat jolted to a stop, making us all stumble in surprise. "Whoa!" I yelped, grabbing the guardrail to keep my balance.

"See? We're here! I'm a lookout genius! Hamster ball, here we come!" Mabel exclaimed. We all departed the boat, walking into the island. Dipper was in front, holding a lantern. I was behind him, and Mabel and Soos were behind me.

Soon we came to a tree, with a sign that said, "Scuttlebutt Island." "Dude, check it out." Soos said, covering the "Scuttle" part of the sign. "Butt Island." Mabel and I began to laugh, her saying, "Soos, you rapscallion!" She then noticed Dipper wasn't laughing. "Hey! Why aren't you laughing? Are you _scared?"_ Dipper raised an eyebrow.

"Pssh! Yeah, right! I'm not—" He was cut off by Mabel poking his nose and blowing a raspberry. "Yeah, you are!" She said. "Hey!" He yelped. Dipper dropped the lantern and covered his head as Mabel continued to poke him and blow raspberies. "Quit...! Stop! Mabel!"

I chuckled, before clearing my throat. "Hey Mabes, I think that"s—" A growling noise cut through the air, making me cut off my voice as I looked at the direction it came from. A lump began to form in my throat.

"Dude, did you guys hear that?" Soos asked. "What was that? Was it your stomach?" Mabel asked in worry. "Nah, my stomach normally sounds like whale noises." He responded. To test his claim, Mabel and I pressed our ears to his belly.

Sure enough, pleasant whale noises came to my ears. "Wow. So majestic." Mabel said in awe. I pulled my head away from Soos just in time to see a possum snatch Dipper's lamp away. He gasped.

"Our lantern! Aww! I can't see anything!" I smirked. This is exactly what I was talking about earlier. "Hey Dip," I said, causing him to turn his head to me. I reached into my bag and pulled out a flashlight with full batteries. "Catch." I threw it to him, which he fumbled to catch.

"Don't lose it, 'kay?" I requested. "Oh, yeah, t-thanks." He stuttered, surprised that I brought a flashlight. "Don't mention it." We both turned to the forest, but stopped as Soos' voice cut through the air.

"Duuude, I dunno, man. Maybe this, uh... Maybe this isn't worth it." Dipper turned to the adult in shock. "Not worth it? Guys, imagine what would happen if we got that picture!"

As per the show, he and Mabel sank back into their imaginations. However, something different that I noticed was that a minute after sinking into his reverie, Dipper began to blush. It disappeared a few seconds after. I raised an eyebrow, but didn't question it.

Soon enough, Dipper stood up straight and smiled. "I'm in!" Mabel chimed in. "Me too!" I smirked. "Me three!" We all ran off, with Soos yelling, "All right dudes, i'm comin'!"

* * *

A few minutes after, I walked behind Dipper, not really paying attention to Mabel's rap. Suddenly, he stopped walking and held up a camera. "Guys, guys, guys! Do you hear something?" I realized that he was struggling to hold the camera and flashlight, so I took the flashlight.

For some reason, I felt my face heat up when my fingers touched his hand. Strangely, his face was tinted red for a second, before it disappeared.

Weird...

Ah well.

"Sure do, Dippity-Dop." I cheerfully said. The growling noise from earlier coulf be heard again, as birds flew away from the direction we were facing. "This is it! This is it!" Dipper excitedly said. Both him and his twin walked towards the source of the sound, punching each other and muttering.

I uttered a noise of amusement before following them. I heard Soos behind me, following as well.

Soos suddenly stopped us as we walked. I assumed he saw the beaver boat, and the group ducked behind a log, me hurrying to join them. Dipper frantically instructed us, "Everyone: get your cameras ready!" We all complied. "Ready? GO!"

I blinked as Soos charged forward, yelling as he blindly took photos. I ran after him, clutching my camera tightly. The beaver boat thing appeared in front of me, which I slowly took a photo of. The beavers chittered.

"But..but, what was that noise, then? I heard a monster noise!" Dipper protested. I looked at the beaver with a chainsaw and pointed to it. "Chainsaw." I blankly said. "Sweet! Beaver with a chainsaw!" Soos said, taking photos of it. "Maybe that old guy was crazy after all." Dipper sighed.

"He _did_ use the word "scrapdoodle." Mabel said. Dipper sat down on a rock and sighed. I took more pictures of the chainsaw beaver, mentally noting to give them to Mabel for her scrapbook later.

"What're we gonna say to Grunkle Stan? We ditched him over nothing." He threw a stone into the lake and sighed. Suddenly, the rock he was sitting on began to shake. "Hey... guys, do you feel that?" He asked. The rock he was sitting on then sunk onto the water, causing Dipper to yelp. He swam back to shore.

From the distance, we saw the silhouette of the Gobblewonker swimming away. "Aahh!" Mabel yelped. Dipper was ecstatic. "This is it!" He began taking pictures. "Come on! This is our chance!" I watched in horror as the Gobblewonker began to swim to Dipper as he faced us.

I began to back away with Mabel and Soos as Dipper tilted his head. "What's wrong with you guys?"

The Gobblewonker began to rise up behind him.

"Dipper...?"

"Dude...?"

"Uhh, Dippin' Dots...?"

"It's not that hard, all right? All you gotta do is point, and shoot. Like this!" He turned around, pointing the camera up at the Gobblewonker's face. He realized that it was right behind him.

The Gobblewonker roared.

"Oh, for _FUCK'S_ sake!" I yelled.


	7. Hiatus Apology - Author's Note (1)

Hello everyone!

I'm sorry for the lack of updates. I have been extremely busy with life, and it's just really hard to find inspiration for chapters. I've been unmotivated for quite a while.

One thing I know for sure is that I am not discontinuing Uncomprehendable jsut yet. I love Hazel and her dorkiness and obliviousness towards her feelings to Dipper too much to let her go just yet.

I will however give out a mindset I have for this story: I will not do every single episode in the Gravity Falls series, as it will take me a huge while to do, with my procrastination and lack of motivation and life duties and all that.

I'll try to make next chapter extra long for you guys. I feel obliged to do that, what with my sudden hiatus and all.

I considered putting this story on hiatus, but decided against it. You guys have suffered long enough, and I sincerely apologize;;;

I hope to see you soon with a new chapter or two in store!

-Netsunii


	8. i'm sorry goodbye

Hello everyone.

Sorry for not updating in a couple months. I've been really busy. I've recently started highschool, an animation collab and other projects. Highschool is more difficult than i've thought, and i've been studying for tests that I barely pass. Adding that to the amount of homework the teachers have been giving us, I knew I would have to give up one of my ongoing projects to focus more on highschool.

It pains me to say this but i'll have to discontinue Uncomprehendable.

I wish I didn't have to, I really do, but highschool requires more of my attention that I thought. I really wasn't prepared for it. Therefore, i'll have to dedicate more time to it.

Uncomprehendable was one of my favorite projects. I'm really saddened to let it go, but if anyone wants to adopt it, then i'll give you full permission to. All I ask is that you take proper care of Hazel. Please, don't turn her into a mary sue.

Writing chapters for this also felt like a chore. I feel both relieved and saddened to discontinue this story. I apologize to everyone who liked this story.

That said, this will also be my last time writing a story on . The way everything is run isn't to my tastes at all. You can probably find me on AO3. I use the same username.

I'm sorry.

Goodbye.

-Netsunii


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